Breaking Yeezys
by guccibear
Summary: A retelling of the the first episode of breaking bad, expect with way more swag and character development
1. Chapter 1

Breaking Yeezys

Scene opens at a Nike shop, this like old guy is helping this 8 year old put on some nikes. That guy is Walt, our protagonist. Walt is all coughing and stuff and the manager tells him to like stop couging cause its mad gross and he is getting old people germs all over dem fresh kicks. Walter tries to respond but he can't be heard over the music in the store. Five hours pass and the store closes. Walt rides home on his blue razor scooter, clenching a midnight release flyer for some shoes called "air yeezys". Walt rides into the driveway, does a cool tailspin trick, and parks his scooter and proceeds to walk on into his home. Walter sees his family at dinner and rushes to sit down. He cracks a joke about how they are eating toasted poptarts again but no laughs, because they are indeed eating toasted pop tarts for dinner. "how wa wa was wor dad?" Walter junior asks, Walter's son is stricken with teen angst and cerebral palsy. "Fine son" Walter responds, waiting for his pop tart to pop out of the toaster. "Bitch I can't live on pop tarts for the rest of my life, when you getting a real job?" Walters bitch wife skyler shouts from the other side of the table. "Sweetie", I made $27 today; we order a small pizza next time" Walter replies softly in fear of his wife who clearly wears the pants in the relationship. "nah fuck that noise hoe, fuck dat, Walt you need to get a real job, you cant expect your family to live off 27 dolla, I need to get my nails did, I can't get my nails did on 27 dolla." "Real talk, tomorrow you goin out to watch my brother in law at his job, he's a counterfeit shoe agent, he makes that good money, he drives a Mazda. "Yes honey" Walter mumbled back. Dinner ends and before Walter goes to bed he is coughing in the bathroom, he coughs heavily and blood starts to come up, the sink look like pms session just went down. Walter quickly cleaned up and dreaded telling his family of his possible sickness.

SCENE ENDS

SCENE II BEGINS

It's a counterfeit shoe bust, Walter is riding shotgun in his brother in law hank's Mazda Miata (aka the gayest car in existence), riding on 24inch rims. "Hey you see that Walt, me and the boys gunna bust this sweatshop its gunna be like pow pow, just like that time I hit a stripper with my car" hank laughed, hank is always a enthusiastic man because he doesn't eat toasted pop tarts for dinner. "haha" Walter tries to laugh but he is still down in the dumps from dinner last night. "These guys are making a new type of shoe in there, they are called the air yeezys, shits sell for like 1000 bucks for just one shoe not even a pair! Who really needs shoes that expensive, are you guys selling these shoes at the Nike store in the mall Walt?" "Yes" Walter grumbled thinking of the people who are lined up at his place of work right now, and have been for over 2 months. a CEA(COUNTERFIET SHOE ENFORCEMENT AGENCEY) agent waved for hank to get ready for the bust. "alright that's my cue" Hank opened the door of his miata which made gay sound, because those cars are mad gay, and proceed to move into position ready to breech the door. The squad kicked door the door "freeze bitch" hank yelled and shot a worker to show he was shuttin this ish down. Walter, still in the car, was like mad bored and started to look at the sweatshop building and noticed a man jumping out a window. The man ran past Walt's car "Jesse?" Walt said shocked noticing that this man was a former fellow coworker at the Nike shoe store Walt works at. The man ran off and time passes and Hank returns. "hey Walt look at these" hank points to a raggedy counterfeit pair of shoes." "They were cookin some counterfeit airyeezys in there!" the shoes were all ragged and the color scheme was off. It looked nothing like the majestic 4 color shoe that Kanye west made with Nike. Walt examined the shoes and thought since he was such a good Nike employee he may be able to cook shoes himself, and better than these pieces of junk. Walt chuckled, and tweeted some hood lyrics.

The next day Walt looked up jesses addresses in order to confront him with his new shoe idea. Walt found the house and rode there on his razor scooter. He did a sick grind and then parked that ish. He walked up and knocked on the door. Bang bang bang he knocks, "yo bitch who bitch is bitch it bitch" a voice yelled from within. "It's Walt, Walter white" Walt replied "yo mr white bitch sup bitch" the door opens up showing Jesse, think like young guy mid 20s kinda drugged out. "hey Jesse do you have a minute" asks Walt "yeah bitch I bitch have bitch a minute bitch" Walter came in the house and the two chatted for a little bit before Walter felt like popping dat question. "Jesse, do you know anything about air yeezys?" "Yeah bitch them shoes is the shit bitch, I bitch was bitch just bitch cookin bitch dem bitch at these sweatshop that just got busted bitch." Jesse replied excited. "Well how about we start cooking them? What do you say Jesse, think about it we have such great knowledge of shoes and you have already done them, even though they look like burnt pop tarts instead of shoes." Walter asks and jesse thinks for a little bit "nah" Jesse replies "oh ok" Walter then thinks "okay well if you don't help I will tell the cops you have been cooking counterfeit shoes." Walter says in a cocky tone. Jesse now trapped thinks about his options and then agrees to make a batch of air yeezys.

The two get on Walter's scooter and pop a sick wheelie an go to target to buy all the ingredients. Sudafed, a pair of a basic shoes, construction paper, animal hide, bootleg wool and a bunch of other stuff I can't list because I don't want you making illegal shoes. The two rides back to jesse's house and rush to the basement, eager to start working on them tasty moist scrumptious shoes. Pretend a montage was happening now with lots of laughs and giggles where they make them shoes because I need to get back to studying and cant keeping writing this. The shoes were done, with the intellect of walt and the previous skills of cooking from Jesse, the shoes looked identical to real air yeezys. The bland grey color, the random glow in the dark bottom, the pink tongue, then the orange inside. All of it was exactly like kanye west wanted. Walt and Jesse went upstairs to have a 4loko, both tired and sweating from all that hard work. "Well bitch what bitch do bitch we do bitch now bitch?" jesse asks out of breathe, "we start to sell these jesse" Walter responds with maniacally laughter.

And like imagine headstrong by trapt was playing or fergioulicous by fergie as the scene fades out

CH1 END.


	2. Chapter 2

Scene Opens

Walter pops a sick wheelie on this razor scooter while pulling into a driveway proceeding to the front door. Bang bang, Walt slams on the door with his fist "Jesse! Jesse! We need to talk Jesse; I know you are in there!" Walter shouts for a good minute, until Jesse finally opened the door. "O heeyyyyy Mista Whiteeee" Jesse slurred which gave Walter a look of disgust. "You've been getting fucked up on counter fit shoes haven't you? It smells like shoes, and your eyes are red!" "nahh mista white, was just reading is all." Walter rolled his eyes, "can you go clean yourself up, we need to talk about the business." Jesse left to go clean himself up, while Walter sat on the couch and took out his Nintendo ds and played sonic. Jesse came back an hour later, sobered up from the shoe fumes, wearing some sick obey and supreme clothing. "Alright Mr. White, what's up?" "Jesse we have the best product on the counterfeit shoe market, but we are only selling for pennies to shoe junkies, homeless people, and fifteen year old swag fags after high school. We need to start looking for the big picture, start selling big. Do you know any dealers?" Jesse looked through his contact list "uh we could try this guy?" Walter looked at the name even though he knew he didn't know it. Walters phone then started to buzz, he sighed "I have to take this hold on." "Hi honey" he answered the phone softly. "Ho, you fucking serious. I fuckin called yo boss today and you wasn't at work, da fuck u doin bitch, u fuckin playing hookey? Bitch you can't play that shit with me, you need to be earning them dollas, so I can get my hair did." Skylar shouted through the phone. "I'm sick dear, just out getting some medicine" he tried to mutter out a cough. "Yeah whatever bitch, fukin if you don't go to work again you gunna be sleeping in the basement bitch you hear me?" "yes dear." They exchanged goodbyes and Walter hung up. "Well I have to be heading out, we should meet up tomorrow with your contact, do try to set that up Jesse." Walter got up and his stomach grumbled. "Aye yo Mr. white, do you want a pop tart? You sound hungry. Walter sighed and waved goodbye, little did Jesse know he was going on the 2 week of eating pop tarts for dinner, this week it was Oreo pop tarts.

Walter arrived home, "hey Walter" hank shouted out from the kitchen table. "Oh right Hank and Marie are coming over for dinner" he thought to himself. "Uh hey guys" he tried to seem excited but he knew, he fucking knew, that Skylar was gonna bring the pain. "the fuck u think you going hoe, your all sick and shit, no dinner for you, go rest in your bed like broke ass ho, u sickly sick bitch" Skylar dragged Walter by the hand to the bedroom and slammed the door. Walter got into bed "peace at last he thought" and fell asleep.

Walter woke up the next morning and checked his phone, one new text from Jesse, "Aye yo Mr. White we got the deal meet me at Quiznos, near the ball pit at 1PM." Walter looked at his clock it was 11AM, he went over and opened his closet looking at the various options he had. "Well I do want to fit the part of the best counter fit shoe maker" he pulled out a white shirt that said #yolo in bold black text. "Yes this will do well" he chuckled and got himself ready. Walter rode down the highway (on his scooter of course) to the quzinos in town. The town with the quiznos was mad shady, like think of a town that's all run down and there is crack addicts and dead people in the streets, I'm sure there is a town like near you. Walter did a sick Ollie over a corpse and proceeded to do to park his scooter on the wall of the quiznos. Walter opened the door, but had a bad feeling so he looked back at the parking lot and noticed a white rolls Royce parked at the far end, "huh that's odd" he thought walking in the quiznos.

"Do you want me to go run up on that honkey Mr. West?" The driver of the car said "Nah man, we gunna wait". The passenger replied.


	3. Chapter 3

"Drop that pussy bitch,What you twerkin' with?" – Pop That by French Montana ft Drake Lilwayne and Rick Ross.

The door of the Quiznos made a chime as Walter opened it, the restaurant was filled with junkies, fat people and kids who were subjectified to watch their parents in the ball pit. Walter took a sit in an empty booth and looked around for the man who wanted to do business with him. Jesse was at the cashier ordering a beverage that the size of a small child; with definitely enough sugar to kill one. Jesse shouted to Walt "you want anything?" Walt made a hand motion indicating a no, had Jesse already forgotten why they were he wondered. Walter flipped open his T-mobile sidekick (not a new one if they even make those, he has a old one from like 2004 that all the cool kids had that was the size of a brick, but that besides the point). Walter looked at the time, was he late or was he early? Walter started to tense as Jesse started to take a seat. "Why are you so tense mista white, chill out he is here." Walter gave out a sigh "well then where is he?" he said it a passive aggressive tone. Jesse pointed to the top of the play area at an incased ball pit that was connected by a series of large tubes. "You have to be joking, you expect me, a man of 50 years to crawl in a quiznos play area to a ball pit?" Jesse gave him a stare answering his question while taking a sip of the drink. Walter went to object but stopped himself halfway and left the table going towards the play area. Walter opened the door and looked back and noticed that Jesse was not moving, "Well what are you waiting for?" Walter snapped from across the room. "Whoa whoa whoa Mista white, these are brand new kicks I ain't risking scuffing them." Jesse grinned and showed off his sick kicks, bright red with black stripes. Walter was ready to throttle Jesse's neck for his stupidity, but he then realized Jesse was right, shoes come first.

Walter walked into the play area and got down on his hands and knees starting to climb of the play tubes. The tubes were poorly ventilated; Walter could feel himself drenched in sweat. Walter hummed to himself to keep out the whispers and screams of children who have either died from dehydration, starvation, or they got molested to death. Asides from the ghosts it was eerily quiet, the living children must have already left, this made Walter feel better that they wouldn't see him crawling in a children's play place. Walter finally reached the top, drenched in sweat and out of breathe he took a rest and looked around the ball pit, there was a figure covered in blankets. "Are you Jesse's client?" Walter questioned the figure with swag. The figured removed the blankets in a dramatic fashion, "red Foo of lmfao!" Walter gasped like they do in Scooby do when they unmask the villain. "Yes it is I, red Foo, of da lmfao, and I'm ready… TO PARTY ROCK.." the man shouted loudly but then started to cough violently. The man named Red Foo, looked thin and weak, dressed in purple and pink 80s get up, smelling of vodka and hand sanitizer. Where does Jesse find these people Walter thought to himself. Walter knew this was for the business so he had to be polite to the bloke so he sighed and introduced himself "Hello, red Foo I am." Before Walter could finish red Foo quickly cut him off "bitch I don't care, you not in LMFAO, U AINT TOURED NO WORLD, YOU AINT PARTY ROCKING, EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING." Walter tried to maintain his composure, because he knew he couldn't fight red Foo even in his weak state, he just had to much swag. "Look grandpa, I want to buy some shoes, and you got dem shoes, so sell me dem shoes" red Foo did some steps while he spoke. "Sure sure, how many would you like?" Walter couldn't tell if he was bullshiting, but he would indulge him. "I'd like a thousand of those shits son, and I l pay you 1 milli". "A-a thousand?" Walter couldn't believe it, he would be set for life with cash. "yeah grandpa, you just gotta hit me bring me them shoes, here tomorrow and ill bring you dat cash, holla holla, get dolla" Red foo shouted. "Yes of course, good doing business with you, Red Foo." Walter shook Red foo's hand and rushed down the tubes to tell Jesse they needed to cook some more and get ready for tomorrow. Before Walter got down the first tube, he heard Red foo talking to someone, something about that the deal worked. Walter knew something was up, he had to get to Jesse, he crawled down as fast as he could and ran to the booths. Where was Jesse he thought, he couldn't find him anywhere, the only person he could see was that kid who played Corey Matthews on boys meets world cleaning the floor. Walter checked every booth, while calling Jesse at the same time. "Jesse pickup! Where did you go!" Walter hissed into the phone. Walter knew he had to go on without Jesse, so he ran out the Quiznos and went to grab his scooter. Where is my scooter he thought. "BAM" Walter ears were ringing and he started to collapse on the cement. Before his vision faded he saw a sick pair of shoes.

Walter awoke hours later, strapped to a chair, his vision still blurry he couldn't figure out where he was. What he could see it was filled with weird symbols, sick shoes, records, and diamonds. Walter couldn't even think over the music that was playing in the room. IT was some sick Drake that was playing on Idock taped to a roomba machine. Walter looked for a way to escape but couldn't find one. "Mister white!" he heard a familiar voice scream over a intercom. "Jesse, Jesse are you there!" Walter shouted back, but stopped cause his throat was ever so dry. "ahh" he yelled, startled from the sudden burst of streamers and money that fell from the ceiling. "Oh no, oh hell naw, oh hell nah, you ain't seein yo friend, you in my hood, my crib, dis is my zone." He saw a figure dressed in an all red suit and huge shades come closer and closer till he could make out a face. It was the maker of yeezys himself, Kanye West, and he looked like he meant business.


End file.
